How to Show Thoughts in Writing Examples: A Journey Through the Labyrinth of the Mind

blog 2025-01-11 0Browse 0
How to Show Thoughts in Writing Examples: A Journey Through the Labyrinth of the Mind

Writing is not just about conveying actions or dialogues; it’s about delving deep into the psyche of characters, exploring their innermost thoughts, and presenting them in a way that resonates with readers. Showing thoughts in writing is an art that requires finesse, creativity, and a deep understanding of human psychology. In this article, we will explore various techniques and examples to effectively portray thoughts in writing, ensuring that your characters come alive on the page.

1. Direct Internal Monologue

One of the most straightforward ways to show thoughts is through direct internal monologue. This technique allows readers to hear the character’s thoughts as if they are thinking them in real-time. It’s like eavesdropping on someone’s mind.

Example: “I can’t believe I just said that,” Sarah thought. “Now he’ll never talk to me again.”

In this example, Sarah’s thoughts are presented directly, giving readers a clear insight into her anxiety and regret.

2. Indirect Internal Monologue

Indirect internal monologue is a more subtle approach. Instead of presenting thoughts verbatim, the narrator paraphrases or summarizes what the character is thinking. This method can be less intrusive and more integrated into the narrative.

Example: Sarah regretted her words immediately. She was sure that her comment had ruined any chance of a future conversation with him.

Here, the narrator conveys Sarah’s thoughts without using direct quotes, maintaining a smoother narrative flow.

3. Free Indirect Speech

Free indirect speech blends the character’s thoughts with the narrator’s voice, creating a seamless transition between the two. This technique allows the reader to experience the character’s thoughts without the explicit “he thought” or “she thought” tags.

Example: Why had she said that? Now he would never talk to her again. The thought gnawed at her, a constant reminder of her mistake.

In this example, the line between the narrator and Sarah’s thoughts is blurred, making the narrative more immersive.

4. Stream of Consciousness

Stream of consciousness is a literary technique that attempts to depict the multitudinous thoughts and feelings which pass through the mind. It’s often used to represent the chaotic and fragmented nature of human thought.

Example: “Why did I say that? Why? Why? Why? He’ll never talk to me again. Never. Never. Never. What was I thinking? What was I thinking? What was I thinking?”

This example captures the repetitive and frantic nature of Sarah’s thoughts, emphasizing her distress.

5. Thought Tags and Dialogue Tags

Thought tags are similar to dialogue tags but are used specifically for thoughts. They help clarify who is thinking what, especially in scenes with multiple characters.

Example: “I can’t believe I just said that,” Sarah thought. “Now he’ll never talk to me again.”

Here, the thought tag “Sarah thought” clearly indicates that the following words are her internal thoughts.

6. Italics for Thoughts

Using italics is a common way to distinguish thoughts from the rest of the narrative. It visually sets the thoughts apart, making it clear to the reader that they are reading a character’s internal monologue.

Example: I can’t believe I just said that, Sarah thought. Now he’ll never talk to me again.

The italics help to differentiate Sarah’s thoughts from the surrounding text, making them stand out.

7. Third-Person Limited Perspective

In a third-person limited perspective, the narrator focuses on the thoughts and feelings of one character. This perspective allows for a deep dive into the character’s psyche while maintaining the narrative distance of third-person.

Example: Sarah watched him walk away, her heart sinking. She couldn’t believe she had ruined everything with just a few careless words. Would he ever forgive her?

Here, the narrator is closely aligned with Sarah’s perspective, providing insight into her thoughts and emotions.

8. First-Person Perspective

First-person perspective naturally lends itself to showing thoughts, as the narrator is the character themselves. This perspective allows for an intimate exploration of the character’s inner world.

Example: I can’t believe I just said that. Now he’ll never talk to me again. What was I thinking?

In this example, the first-person narration directly conveys the character’s thoughts, creating a strong connection with the reader.

9. Symbolism and Metaphor

Sometimes, thoughts can be conveyed through symbolism and metaphor, especially when dealing with complex emotions or abstract ideas. This technique can add depth and richness to the narrative.

Example: Sarah’s mind was a storm, her thoughts swirling like leaves caught in a tempest. Each regret was a lightning strike, illuminating the darkness of her mistake.

Here, the metaphor of a storm effectively conveys the turmoil in Sarah’s mind.

10. Body Language and Actions

Thoughts can also be shown through a character’s body language and actions. Often, what a character does can reveal more about their thoughts than words ever could.

Example: Sarah clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. She couldn’t meet his eyes, her gaze fixed on the ground as if it could swallow her whole.

In this example, Sarah’s actions and body language reveal her inner turmoil and regret without the need for explicit thought narration.

11. Flashbacks and Memories

Flashbacks and memories can be used to show a character’s thoughts, especially when those thoughts are tied to past events. This technique can provide context and depth to the character’s current state of mind.

Example: Sarah remembered the last time she had seen him, the way his eyes had lit up when he smiled. Now, that smile was gone, replaced by a cold indifference that cut her to the core.

Here, the flashback to a happier time contrasts sharply with Sarah’s current feelings, highlighting her regret and sadness.

12. Internal Conflict

Internal conflict is a powerful way to show a character’s thoughts, especially when they are torn between different desires or beliefs. This technique can create tension and drive the narrative forward.

Example: Sarah wanted to apologize, to take back her words, but pride held her back. She couldn’t bring herself to admit she was wrong, even though she knew she was.

In this example, Sarah’s internal conflict between her desire to apologize and her pride is clearly shown, adding complexity to her character.

13. Dialogue with Oneself

Sometimes, characters engage in an internal dialogue with themselves, debating different courses of action or questioning their own thoughts and feelings. This technique can reveal a character’s inner struggles and thought processes.

Example: “You should apologize,” one part of her mind urged. “But what if he doesn’t forgive you?” another part countered. Sarah felt torn, her thoughts a battleground of conflicting emotions.

Here, Sarah’s internal dialogue reveals her indecision and the conflict within her mind.

14. Narrative Voice

The narrative voice itself can be used to convey a character’s thoughts, especially in a close third-person or first-person narrative. The tone, word choice, and sentence structure can all reflect the character’s inner state.

Example: Sarah’s mind raced, a whirlwind of regret and self-recrimination. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had ruined everything, that her words had severed the fragile thread connecting them.

In this example, the narrative voice mirrors Sarah’s frantic and regretful state of mind, enhancing the reader’s understanding of her thoughts.

15. Use of Questions

Questions can be a powerful tool for showing thoughts, especially when a character is uncertain or searching for answers. Questions can reveal a character’s doubts, fears, and curiosities.

Example: Why had she said that? What had she been thinking? Would he ever forgive her? The questions swirled in her mind, each one a sharp reminder of her mistake.

Here, the use of questions effectively conveys Sarah’s uncertainty and self-doubt.

16. Contrast Between Thoughts and Actions

Sometimes, a character’s thoughts can contrast sharply with their actions, revealing inner conflict or hidden emotions. This technique can add depth and complexity to a character.

Example: Sarah smiled brightly, masking the storm of regret brewing inside. “It’s fine,” she said, though her heart screamed otherwise.

In this example, the contrast between Sarah’s outward smile and her inner turmoil highlights her internal conflict.

17. Use of Repetition

Repetition can be used to emphasize a character’s thoughts, especially when those thoughts are obsessive or particularly intense. Repeating a thought or phrase can convey its importance or the character’s fixation on it.

Example: “I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe I said that.” The words echoed in her mind, a relentless refrain that refused to be silenced.

Here, the repetition of Sarah’s thought emphasizes her regret and the intensity of her feelings.

18. Thoughts as a Narrative Device

Thoughts can also be used as a narrative device to foreshadow events, reveal backstory, or provide commentary on the action. This technique can add layers of meaning to the narrative.

Example: Sarah watched him walk away, a sinking feeling in her chest. She had a premonition that this was the last time she would see him, though she couldn’t say why.

In this example, Sarah’s thought foreshadows a future event, adding tension and anticipation to the narrative.

19. Thoughts in Dialogue

Thoughts can be integrated into dialogue, either as asides or through the character’s tone and word choice. This technique can reveal a character’s true feelings, even if they are saying something different.

Example: “I’m fine,” Sarah said, though her voice trembled. If only he knew how much I regret what I said.

Here, Sarah’s dialogue is contradicted by her internal thought, revealing her true feelings.

20. Thoughts as a Reflection of Theme

Finally, a character’s thoughts can reflect the broader themes of the story, providing insight into the narrative’s deeper meaning. This technique can add resonance and depth to the narrative.

Example: Sarah’s thoughts were a mirror of her life—chaotic, uncertain, and filled with regret. She wondered if she would ever find the peace she so desperately sought.

In this example, Sarah’s thoughts reflect the theme of searching for peace and redemption, tying her personal journey to the larger narrative.


Q: How can I make my character’s thoughts more realistic? A: To make your character’s thoughts more realistic, pay attention to the natural flow of human thinking. Thoughts are often fragmented, repetitive, and emotional. Use short, choppy sentences for moments of panic or confusion, and longer, flowing sentences for moments of reflection or calm.

Q: Should I always use italics for thoughts? A: Not necessarily. While italics are a common way to denote thoughts, they are not the only option. You can also use thought tags, indirect internal monologue, or integrate thoughts seamlessly into the narrative. The key is to be consistent and clear so that readers can easily distinguish thoughts from the rest of the text.

Q: How do I avoid overusing internal monologue? A: To avoid overusing internal monologue, balance it with action, dialogue, and description. Show your character’s thoughts through their actions and body language, and use internal monologue sparingly to highlight key moments of introspection or decision-making.

Q: Can thoughts be used to reveal backstory? A: Yes, thoughts can be an effective way to reveal backstory. Through a character’s reflections, memories, or internal dialogue, you can provide context and depth to their current situation. Just be careful not to info-dump; reveal backstory gradually and naturally.

Q: How do I show conflicting thoughts in a character? A: To show conflicting thoughts, use internal dialogue where the character debates different options or perspectives. You can also contrast their thoughts with their actions, or use symbolism and metaphor to represent the internal conflict. The key is to make the conflict clear and relatable to the reader.

By mastering these techniques, you can bring your characters to life, allowing readers to connect with them on a deeper level. Whether through direct internal monologue, subtle narrative cues, or symbolic imagery, showing thoughts in writing is a powerful tool for creating compelling and relatable characters.

TAGS